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Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Tuesday, 12 May 2015


Banta class mein – madam maine “abc” yaad
karli..
Madam -ok , to sunao..
Banta – abcdefghijklemnopqrstuvwxyz…..
Madam - arey aise nahi ….aise suna A for apple
Banta – ok madam…. A for apple.
B for bada apple .
C for chhota apple .
D for dusra apple .
E for ek aur apple .
F for fokat ka apple .
G for gol apple .
H for hazar apple
I for itney saarey apple ?
J for jaao nahi khaani hai apple
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple
L for lena padhega tumko apple
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple
N for naa nahi kehtey kyunkey yeh hai apple
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple
P for peth bhar khaao apple
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple
R for roz agar khaao tum apple
S for sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum
apple
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple
U for udhaar kii nahi hai yeh apple
V for very tasty hai yeh apple
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se
apple
X for X’mas mei bhii Hi! khana padenge apple
Y for yun na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaraasa aur khaalo apple aur ………..

Ek samay do bahut milne wale dost rahte thay.
Lekin ek din ek dost ka maut ho gaya aur police
investigate karne ke liye aaya aur uske dost ko
sawal poochne laga…
Police: “Tumhara dost kaise mara?”
Sardar: “ Pata nahi sahab, woh bola mere pet
mein chuhe kud rahe hai toh maine usko chuha
marne ki dawa khila di.”

Circiut: Bhai, who apnay bachpan ka dost
aarehla hai aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera Sara chain collection apne kamray mein
chupa do na please.
Munna bhai: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
Circiut: Nahin Bhai, woh apne chain pehchan
lega.

Guy 1: “How’s your history paper coming?”
Guy 2: “Well, my history professor suggested that
I use the Internet for research, and it’s been very
helpful.
Guy 1: “Really?”
Guy 2: “Yes! I’ve already located 17 people who
sell them!”

Nutrition class teacher given home work to write
3 pages essay on milk. Next day all children
bring the home work.
One boy written only one page. Then teacher
asked him why he has written only one page.
The boy replied, “Teacher I have written about
condensed milk.”

Chotu’s dad picked him up from school to take
him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts
for the school play were supposed to be posted
today, he asked his son if he got one.
Chotu enthusiastically announced that he had, ” I
play a man who’s been married for twenty
years. “
“That’s great, son. Keep up the good work and
before you know it they’ll be giving you a
speaking part.”

Read More >>

Monday, 11 May 2015


A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Santa Ke Ghar Navjot Singh Siddhu Ki Tasvir Lagi Hui Thi.
Banta: Yaar, Tujhe Toh Cricket Mein Bilkul Bhi Interest Nahin Hai, Phir Tune Siddhu ji Ki Photo Kyun Laga Rahi Hai???
Santa: Kaun Siddhu?? Main Toh Laughing Buddha Lene Gaya Tha... Dukaandar Ne Kaha Ye Le Jao, Latest Hai !!!

Santa Jab Bhi Kapde Dhota, Tab Hi Baarish Ho Jaati. Ek Din Dhoop Nikli Toh Usne Shukr Kiya Aur Dukaan Pe Surf Lene Gaya.
Wo Jaise Hi Dukaan Par Gaya, Baadal Zor-Zor Se Garajne Lage. Santa Fatafat Aasmaan Ki Taraf Muh Karke Bola: Kya?
Kidhar??
Main Toh Biscuit Lene Aaya Hoon, Kasam Se...!!! ???

Ek Aadmi Khade-Khade Chaabi Se Apna Kaan Khujla Raha Tha. Santa Usko Bade Gaur Se Dekhte Hue Bola: Bhaisahab, Aap Start Nahi Ho Rahe Toh Dhakka Maaru?

Doctor: Motape Ka Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai. Tum Roj 2 Chapatis Khaya Karo.
Santa: Theek Hai Doctor Sahab, Par Ye Toh Bataiye 2 Chapati Khaane Se Pehle Jhaani Hai Ya Khaane Ke Baad ?
Read More >>


A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

Santa Ke Ghar Navjot Singh Siddhu Ki Tasvir Lagi Hui Thi.
Banta: Yaar, Tujhe Toh Cricket Mein Bilkul Bhi Interest Nahin Hai, Phir Tune Siddhu ji Ki Photo Kyun Laga Rahi Hai???
Santa: Kaun Siddhu?? Main Toh Laughing Buddha Lene Gaya Tha... Dukaandar Ne Kaha Ye Le Jao, Latest Hai !!!

Santa Jab Bhi Kapde Dhota, Tab Hi Baarish Ho Jaati. Ek Din Dhoop Nikli Toh Usne Shukr Kiya Aur Dukaan Pe Surf Lene Gaya.
Wo Jaise Hi Dukaan Par Gaya, Baadal Zor-Zor Se Garajne Lage. Santa Fatafat Aasmaan Ki Taraf Muh Karke Bola: Kya?
Kidhar??
Main Toh Biscuit Lene Aaya Hoon, Kasam Se...!!! ???

Ek Aadmi Khade-Khade Chaabi Se Apna Kaan Khujla Raha Tha. Santa Usko Bade Gaur Se Dekhte Hue Bola: Bhaisahab, Aap Start Nahi Ho Rahe Toh Dhakka Maaru?

Doctor: Motape Ka Ek Hi Ilaaj Hai. Tum Roj 2 Chapatis Khaya Karo.
Santa: Theek Hai Doctor Sahab, Par Ye Toh Bataiye 2 Chapati Khaane Se Pehle Jhaani Hai Ya Khaane Ke Baad ?
Read More >>


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